A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
