Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize