when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
