I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
