Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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