sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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