I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
