were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
