Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
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