He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize