Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
