Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
