Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize