You're my little dorito
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize