Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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