The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
