super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
