4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
