I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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