can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
