He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
50% drunk capacity currently
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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