Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My feet surprised me
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
