I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
