Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
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