I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
