I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
