I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
True college students do jello shots in the library
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