He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
