Little spoons don't ask big questions
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
