I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
