at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
