I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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