you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
