I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
