I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
