i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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