Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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