put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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