You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so explain again why im purple
no
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
