guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Only a mothe r could love this liver
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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