also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
