I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
