you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
