You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
