I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
