I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
