Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
