So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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