Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
