i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
