Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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