Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
