I think I am morally bankrupt
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
