Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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