I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
