I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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