i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
