...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
