6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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