It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
