ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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