Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
